I don’t know what else should I state here, lately my life is quite irregular and unstable. Sometimes calm and sometimes the situation is quite unbearable. I’m truly a very weak person. I can’t do anything when the burden is on my shoulders and this time too, I began to hate my attitude, which seems to be weak with little challenge and testing. I was really stiff, awkward and not be able to do anything. Am i really looks pathetic that way?
It is a very embarrassing situation. I don’t want to have these feelings. I want to be strong to face all these challenge. Even if I fail and fall several times, I still want to get up and keep on running to catch the success that I really wanted from the moment I began to know knowledge and life. But what’s now? I was far far far behind... I want to keep going even though I've to crawl but my spirit fades when it pushed by an environment which constantly belittle each other with the words that is enough to kill the cells of spirit that remaining after it shattered before. I don’t want to be humiliated, I also don’t want to be bothered with the insults, calumny, and all the harsh words that quite painful but sometimes it's beyond our thought when it comes from people who we consider as stimulant for us to succeed. It's SUCKS! *heart wrenching* It's really hard to be heal.. Only time can change it...
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